A Kyrgyz Love Story

I spend the night in a cheap guesthouse and in the evening chat with the two Kyrgyz girls who work there. At 16 and 17 years old, they're close to marrying age and Baktugal (the elder) has already avoided one attempted kidnapped wedding. In Kyrgyz culture, it's still common for a man to marry a woman by kidnapping her.

Reciting Baktugal's story, she was at her sister's house and was spotted by a male friend of the sister's who took a fancy to her. She saw him again while visiting the house a few days later. Having seen her twice, the man decided that this is the girl he wants to marry, have children with and spend the rest of his life with. So one day he gets in his car with four of his buddies, who by the way all enjoy a good kidnapping and drives up her street, parking the car in a spot where he can see the door.

Having seen the car through the window, our unfortunate target spends the entire day inside and thus thwarts her suitors kidnap attempt. Had she not seen him, the following would happen, as both girls confirmed happened to friends of theirs. Our friend would walk outside and the car would pull up, the guys would get out and drag her into the car and drive her to the suitors house. There the suitor would hold her captive until the wedding ceremony.

On the day of the wedding, a woman comes to perform the ceremony and the girl's parents come to witness. Depending on whether the kidnapper (aside from his kidnapping) is good husband material or not, they would give their blessing, or take the girl home with them.

Once the parents have given their consent to the wedding, the girl respects their wishes and marries the man, living with him and having children as he decides. He has all right to give her children whether she wants them or not.

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